Finding the Courage to Reveal a Fetish - By Jillian Keenan (New York Times)

 "DAVID doesn’t remember this conversation, but I won’t forget.

“Nice belt,” I said, gesturing to the red canvas belt around his waist. 

We had met a few weeks earlier through a Stanford student group. He was quiet and broad-shouldered. I liked him right away. 

“I have a leather one, too,” he replied, smiling. 

I was thunderstruck. For as long as I remember, I’ve been fairly obsessed with spanking. This obsession felt impossible to share, so I was always hungry for cues that someone could relate. David’s remark was innocent, of course, but I was so desperate for understanding that I imagined connections everywhere. 

“You’re in trouble!” a friend once declared when I playfully stole his textbook during a date.

“Really?” I asked, hope rising. 

He started tickling me. The relationship was doomed. 

I had long assumed my life partner would share my kink. At 17, I met my first boyfriend while living abroad. He was 24 and so comfortable with his sexual identity that on our second date he asked whether I had “ever received a severe spanking.” 

His question took my breath away, and our next 18 months were essentially an extension of that first electrified moment. By the time we broke up, I had come to accept that a shared fetish was a necessary part of any future relationship. 

But David, it turned out, is “vanilla” — the word the spanking community uses to describe people who don’t share our quirk. I was disappointed, but it was too late: I had already fallen in love with him."


READ MORE: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/11/fashion/modern-love-a-spanking-fetish-is-not-revealed-easily.html?_r=0


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