So here's one for you.. who's sick of kink having to equal no one seems able to sustain a single partner any more?i am relatively new to kink activity but i cannot see why it has to be so lacking in willingness to stick to one person at a time.. for me, kink is better when i get to know one partner well, rather than this wafer thin spread it as far as you can competition i see going on..
it seems like i am a dinosaur or something outre, expecting fidelity from my dirty boi or grrl.. what are your thoughts on this? i am not trying to piss off the open honest poly people or those simply looking honestly for casual, but there are a raft pf fakes and phoneys out there, professing to be seeking a partner when they actually end up meaning they want you and anyone else as well... is it just a hopeless thing, or just the wrong people?
interested to see if anyone else has had some fucktards promise fidelity and end up being just another cunt wanting to get their end away.. pfft.
Personally i would rather develop a wicked deep level of kink with a like minded pervert, and explore that well, before i maybe add others to the mix, if at all.. it just seems like a walk thru the sea of most person's souls would hardly get your feet wet lol....
discuss
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Firstly being Kinky has nothing to do with how many partners Subs, lovers, single or multi relationships you can have. If you are so inclined to have more than one of the above that is an individual choice.
ReplyDeleteAs long as everyone involved is aware of what the situation is, everyone is in agreement of such situation and fall within the boundaries of the relationship. Now some who promises fidelity and then is found cheating is not being Kink but just a person found wanting and a deceptive person, that is not what Kink is about, even though there is no governance for what we do.
There is as far as I believe ethics that are unspoken nor written and for the most part it is an individual thing (As different people various boundaries) the one thing I wish to believe is that no matter what a persons personal boundary is, that honesty and integrity are common denominators to everyone in the Kink Community.
One can have a deep connection with multiple partners and experience an amazing exploration and indulge of all forms of Kink just as deeply and as wickedly as a couple who chooses to be exclusive to themselves. In both mono and multi relationships for them to work they need to based on honesty, openness and respect for each other.
Maybe one day our path may cross and I would give you a little more insight on this face to face as there are some things more I could cite but that is not a tale for here.
you see that is basically how i feel too - it should be about honesty and openness and being up front and connected with the person or persons you are with, but not saying one thing and doing another, which is what i have seen so very often not just for myself but others in the scene, consistently running into people that are saying exclusive but practicing on the side without consent from partners.. it just dismays me.
ReplyDeleteI don't think percentage wise it is so much worse than the vanilla population per se what i do find sad is that in an open community like this where discourse about our preferences should be so much easier, it seems that double dealing and lies are still the norm for some people and it hacks me off - there are enough available people that want it casual, why do there have to be the predatory types that enjoy the power trip of hurting the ones that aren't wanting casual?
I mean, i am as pervy as get out but i am a one person at a time woman for the most part aside from mutually agreed upon fun for both together.. that is just how I roll but i am not slamming other people for their choices, i just get sick of having them forced on me by people that i thought i could trust, repeatedly.. and being told i am not "alt" enough to boot! Like there is a minimum height to ride the ride ffs..
Believe me, i feel that it is ok to be with how ever many you want if it is mutually agreed. I am just dismayed by the lack of honesty i have run into and the amount of predatory people there seem to be out there.
ReplyDeleteI suppose i naively thought that sexual liberation might also go hand in hand with emotional and intellectual liberation too but i ran into a lot of prejudices and gang mentalities out in the wild lol it pretty much put me off of going back into it for the moment.. which is sad as i miss it a lot for not the sex aspect nearly as much as the let your freakiness be displayed freely and safely aspect of it.
and the dressing up and feeling grand and beautiful part, to feel like i had a tribe at last.. sex was the icing on the much more important cake of liberated SELF... if that makes any sense..
people are people... no matter where they are or if they are kinky or vanilla or somewhere in between.. kink in THEORY should be like a more intense relationship. the way i see it (just my opinion) it breaks down to these categories : monogamous, poly, curious, fool and player...
ReplyDeleteI love my wife and like to get kinky with her. Not sure what category that puts me in.
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ReplyDeleteIt will always be people that is not worth in every scene
ReplyDeleteI think people tend to be s bit more ones than vanila
I'm very monogamous when I like someone . You not the only one and is nothing wrong with that
That people that tell you you not kinky enough are just pressuring you in to something you don't want . Justleave them straight away . They obvious don't respect you and are not worth your devotion
Don't stop your self to go to parties cause you had bad experiences . Will result in frustration for you
Go enjoy yourself but if you after a only exclusive relationship you need to remember that a person that is loyal is hard to find even you look in to the kinky scene or vanila x