This is definitely a question for all of you more experienced players first, both Dom & sub of course.But maybe some of you just starting out will have a 'thing or two' to add to this...?
Hopefully this will be another interesting thread.
Love & Kisses,
Aidan xXx
BiZarre Events - London's Most Extreme Fetish Sex Parties!
Web: http://www.bizarre-events.com
Email: bizarreeventslondon@gmail.com --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Confidence in negotiation. It's too easy to be swept past your limits if you aren't sure about stating clearly what you want or need.
ReplyDeletecommunication...
ReplyDeleteactually... would you mind if i posted a link to a blog i read the other day, the gentleman writing had something to say as a Dom/Top that would be well read by those that only see kink/bdsm in more negative views...
ReplyDeletehttp://sexplor.wordpress.com/2013/10/19/domination-is-earned-not-taken/
Safety in all scening (i.e: Tell a trusted friend where you are going, establish a 'safe system/word' before you start scening, don't try anything that your body can't medically handle, etc) xxx
ReplyDeleteand for the love of all thats holy.... learn about subdrop! and aftercare and that sometimes those are needed DAYS later or longer
ReplyDeleteTrue... when I was a House Domme at a club I had to shut the Dungeon to the public and spent the next 3 hours with a sub who went into shock due to inexperience! The sub left the club perfectly ok and got into a cab. The warning sign was "Can I have a glass of water please?" That meant their mouth had gone dry (a sign of shock), Then feeling sick and faintness confirmed it. I studied not only Human Psychology at Degree Level but also Human Biology at Degree Level so I would understand the people I was scening with and know what to do when emergencies occur. xxx
ReplyDeletei am not really a Domme type, i can top but i am more a switch and someone that loves to please or take care of others, i would love to get hired for events to do after or during care
ReplyDeleteI'm just thinking; what you describe (taking care of others, pleasing them)... Those are qualities that would also make for an excellent Domme, I think! Ax
ReplyDeleteThe best kind of Top is a caring one who can be trusted completely by the sub. And it is myth that a Top/Dom/Domme controls the scene... they don't the sub does because the sub is the one who can stop the scene at any time! Unless you are 'no limits' scening but that's not for beginners - in fact I know many experienced sceners that won't do 'no-limits' xxx
ReplyDeletealso have to know if the person has any autoimmune disorders, i have a mild case of Raynaud's disease and not everyone knows about how the hands/fingers change colors. mine go more white than red or blue or purple
ReplyDeletei know i COULD be a very good Domme but right now.. too... much..fucking...EFFORT! i have kids! all my dommely powers are spent on them haha
ReplyDeleteanother thing i have learned is that some of the best Dom/mes have spent time as a sub and know what the sub is going through and can better care for their needs in the session or after
ReplyDeleteWhen I had my own private chambers many years ago, first visit for any sub involved no scening at all... it was a sit down with Tea & Biscuits, an informal chit chat about their needs and then a medical questionnaire for them to fill out so I knew exactly what they had before we even got to the dungeon!
ReplyDeleteOh yes I believe that if you haven't tried it yourself you shouldn't inflict it on others! xxx It's part of your knowledge about what you are doing to someone else xxx
ReplyDeleteSimply choose your Dom wisely , observe their character both in their general interactions and friends also observe the company they keep.
ReplyDeleteDo try things you're curious about. Ask if you're not sure; nobody will think any less of you for asking.
ReplyDeleteDon't do anything you don't want to do, and don't feel pressured in to doing something just because other people are.
Always play safely.
Communication. Communication. Communication.
Relax, be open about things, and don't feel bad about saying no.
ReplyDelete